"Involve Me" Is Not A Life Strategy: How Waiting To Be Carried Can Cost You Direction

 

There was a morning that changed the way I see responsibility. Someone had told me the night before to wake up early. He said he would call me. He even assured me that if calling was not enough, he would come and pick me up. And I believed him.

I did not set my alarm. I did not make a backup plan. I trusted another human being with my morning, my movement, and indirectly, my day.

I slept peacefully, like someone expecting help from above.

Morning came.

My phone did not ring.

There was no call.

No message.

No reminder.

Just silence.

As I lay there staring at the ceiling, what hurt was not anger. It was the realization that I had willingly handed over control of my day to someone else. A simple forgetfulness from another person had scattered my entire plan. That moment humbled me deeply. It forced me to ask myself some uncomfortable questions.

• Why was I depending on someone else to start my own day?
• Had I made another person responsible for my discipline?
• Were we even running the same race in life?

That was when the lesson became clear.

At some point in life, wanting to be carried starts to cost you growth.

For a long time, I loved the idea of being involved.

Include me.

Add me to the group chat.

Carry me along.

Being left out made me uncomfortable, and in trying so hard not to be excluded, I slowly became someone who waited. Someone who needed reminders to move. Someone who waited for permission, validation, or encouragement before taking action.

Without realizing it, I was living like my life required activation from other people.

Fear played a big role. Fear of standing alone. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of choosing the wrong path. So instead of listening to my own direction, I started following other people’s plans. Their routines. Their pace.

I joined dreams that were not mine simply because I did not want to feel left behind. Over time, this kind of dependence makes you blind. You begin to follow someone else’s road signs while ignoring the ones your own life is placing in front of you.

The truth is, depending on people feels good at first. It feels like care. It feels like support. It feels comfortable.

But comfort can be dangerous.

Spoon feeding may look like love, but it slowly turns you into someone who waits. Waiting for calls. Waiting for instructions. Waiting for approval. Waiting to be carried along. No one will ever carry your destiny the way you should.

Everyone you depend on is dealing with their own pressure. Everyone is fighting battles you cannot see. Even the people you admire are holding themselves together one day at a time.

So tying your progress to another person’s availability is a risky decision. What I learned is simple but powerful.

• Life is not a group project.
• Responsibility is personal.
• If you do not choose yourself, no one else will do it for you in the long run.

The world moves fast, and waiting around for help that may not come is one of the easiest ways to lose direction. That morning, I had an honest conversation with myself.

No more waiting to be carried.

No more relying on reminders.

No more acting like growth should be convenient.

If something matters to me, I have to be the one to rise for it.

Not another person’s motivation.

Not their alarm.

Not their availability.

Mine.

Since I stopped waiting for people to push me, something changed. Life became smoother. People took me more seriously. Support began to show up without me asking.

Because people are drawn to those who are already moving.

No one wants to drag a grown adult through life, but many are willing to walk with someone who has direction. That is the irony. When you stop depending too much on others, they start showing up in healthier ways. Now, whenever I feel the temptation to rely on someone excessively, I ask myself one question.

If they forget, what will I do?

That question keeps me grounded. So this is my reminder to myself and to anyone who needs it.

Set your own alarm.

Wake yourself.

Push yourself.

Move even when no one is watching.

Respect yourself enough to carry your own life.

Because the day you stop being spoon fed is the day you finally begin to enjoy the full portion of the life meant for you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR 
Deborah Ajike is a dynamic creative force and strategist, masterfully integrating her roles as a writer, editor, graphic designer, and social media manager. She operates on the principle that compelling ideas require both vivid expression and meticulous planning to truly resonate. Currently a dedicated 300-level student, her academic journey fuels a profound passion for narrative craft and strategic branding. Deborah is actively honing her voice and visual style, driven by the ambition to build meaningful stories and authentic brand identities that not only capture attention but also endure. Her work is a deliberate step toward making a distinct and memorable mark in the creative world.