“Are You Going to Work After You Have Kids?”: A Question No One Asks Men

Ever wonder why nobody asks men if they’ll keep working after having children?

Imagine walking into an office, newborn in arms, and the first question isn’t “How are you?” but “Are you sure you’ll still want to work?” That question, for women, hangs in the air like a verdict. For men? Fatherhood barely registers.

 

Take Aisha, for example. She had her first child via C-section and took the twelve weeks of statutory maternity leave she was entitled to under Section 54 of the Labour Act. Twelve weeks later, she returned to her office, still sore, sleep-deprived, and hormonally unstable. Meetings she used to lead were reassigned, projects she nurtured were “taken over,” and no one seemed to notice she was still recovering. Her body ached, her mind was foggy, and she was juggling a newborn feeding schedule like a part-time job she didn’t sign up for. By week two, she was exhausted, anxious, and quietly questioning whether anyone had actually considered what “recovered” meant.

 

And let’s be honest  postpartum recovery is brutal (I’ll try my best not to traumatize you). 

Twelve weeks is barely a checkpoint. The body is still healing: abdominal muscles are torn, stitches are raw, pelvis is unstable, and for those who had C-sections, major surgery wounds are still sensitive. Hormones swing wildly, often leaving women crying one minute and enraged the next. Sleep? Forget it — the newborn doesn’t read your calendar, and the cumulative sleep deprivation rewires your brain, impairs memory, and crushes focus. Add breastfeeding, feeding complications, mastitis, mood swings, anxiety, or postpartum depression, and you’re not just “recovering” you’re surviving. And yet workplaces act like the calendar magically aligns with competence.

 

Section 54 of the Labour Act may give women twelve weeks of leave, but the law stops there. No one guarantees that your job will be waiting, that your role won’t vanish, or that subtle sidelining won’t make your return feel like punishment. Discrimination doesn’t need to be obvious; it’s polite, efficient, and invisible.

 

This isn’t just a women’s issue. Men are discouraged from caregiving. Families bear extra stress. Workplaces lose talent. And children grow up in systems that quietly devalue care. Section 37 of the Constitution promises protection for family life, but in practice, workplaces treat caregiving, especially female caregiving, like a liability.

 

Real change isn’t rocket science. Here’s what could actually work:

 

• Enforce existing maternity protections  Make sure employers comply with Section 54 of the Labour Act and face real consequences if they don’t.

 

• Normalize workplace flexibility; Allow phased returns, remote work options, and adjusted workloads for new parents.

  

 

• Provide postpartum support .Access to counselling, lactation rooms, and wellness programs to address the real physical and emotional challenges of recovery.

 

Reframe workplace culture  Accept that motherhood does not erase ambition or competence. Productivity doesn’t vanish in maternity wards; workplaces just need to accommodate the reality of human life.

  

So maybe the better question isn’t whether women will keep working after having children.

The real question is: why do we still design workplaces, laws, and expectations as though they shouldn’t?

Why do we act like ambition and caregiving are mutually exclusive?

Why do we pretend that this assumption is neutral?

 

It Isn’t.

 

And until we change that, women will continue returning to jobs they can barely manage, children will grow up in systems that undervalue care, and workplaces will quietly sabotage half of their workforce  all while pretending nothing is wrong.

 

And remember folks:  pregnancy isn’t shameful. Struggling, recovering, or needing time isn’t a weakness. 

The problem isn’t women it’s a system that refuses to accommodate the reality of their lives.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JESSICA EKWERE

Jessica Ekwere is a historian, writer, and researcher with a talent for making the past come alive. 

She serves as Projects Director of the Justice Nsima Akpabio Chambers Public Speaking Community, where she inspires confidence and clarity in others. 

As The Wandering Historian on Substack and Medium, Jessica explores history with curiosity and flair, while also teaching history and research skills to help others uncover and tell their own stories.